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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26804257">Projection</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/TottyTottyTotty/pseuds/TottyTottyTotty'>TottyTottyTotty</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Red Dwarf (UK TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Arguing, Blow Jobs, Body Image, Consent, Embarrassment, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Frottage, Funny, Hand Jobs, M/M, Multiple Orgasms, No Plot/Plotless, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Rimming, Roommates, Self Confidence Issues, Self-Esteem Issues, Small Penis, Teasing</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-10-04</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-10-04</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 08:07:50</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,861</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26804257</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/TottyTottyTotty/pseuds/TottyTottyTotty</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Lister shows Rimmer it's better to be yourself.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Dave Lister &amp; Arnold Rimmer, Dave Lister/Arnold Rimmer</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>3</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>52</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Projection</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Lister groaned into the hard kiss. Rimmer had taken him by surprise, but he was fast on his feet. If there has been any hesitation, it hadn't shown.</p><p> </p><p>Bored and a few cans of lager in, Lister had agreed to an ill-advised game of Battlestarship with Rimmer. Of course, he knew better than to expect a pleasant evening, the hologram being both a sore loser and a sore winner. It didn't matter though - at the moment, anything to break the monotony of empty space would do.</p><p> </p><p>They had both been cheating, each with false confidence that the other wouldn't notice. Rimmer was moving his ships about each turn, and Lister hadn't bothered placing them on the pegboard at all. An embarrassingly long distance into the game, with a 0-0 score, Rimmer began to notice that there wasn't enough room for Lister's ships to hide and suspected foul play. With angry beratement, he declared himself the de-facto winner, logging it into the painstakingly maintained game records he had lovingly crafted. It was highlighted in green and marked with a W, as were all the rest. Each entry happened to be a win for himself, the losses having been allegedly disqualified for a variety of illegitimate reasons.</p><p> </p><p>After admiring his winning streak, a smug lecture on cheating had ensued. Lister, as usual, had just smiled to himself with exasperation. He had put his dirty boots up on the table and lit a rolled cigarette, letting it loll out of the corner of his lips haphazardly.</p><p> </p><p>"Are you even listening?" Rimmer had demanded, his face uncomfortably close. Lister started slightly at the intrusion of his personal space.</p><p> </p><p>"<em>Smeg</em>, Rimmer. It's just a bit of fun. Why do ya have to take games so seriously?"</p><p> </p><p>Ignoring the question, Rimmer had leaned in closer. "Why I continue to play with you is a mystery I can't fathom." He tilted his head slightly, slowly. "A professional swindler. A modern-day, back-stabbing Brutus with gerbil cheeks."</p><p> </p><p>Lister's lips had parted slightly with surprising realisation. He hadn't seen that look on anyone's face in years. Did Lister cheating turn Rimmer on? Or maybe it was reprimanding a subordinate that did it.</p><p> </p><p>And now, they were kissing, rough, Rimmer pushing Lister hard against the wall with the surprising strength of his hardlight.</p><p> </p><p>Rimmer hadn't the practice kissing that Lister did, but what he lacked in experience he was making up in enthusiasm. One hand twisted around dreadlocks, tugging tight, while the other slid up under a curry-stained T-shirt.</p><p> </p><p>Where their hips pressed together, they could feel each other's erections pushing insistently against their trousers. They explored each other's skin with the hunger of two men denied human intimacy for years. This wasn't like some programmed-to-please computer sprite and groinal attachment - this was real. And they were desperate for it. </p><p> </p><p>Lister fiddled with the clasps holding Rimmer's blue tunic in place, breathing a huff of triumph as they fell away. As the top shrugged off of the hologram's shoulders, it fizzled silently out of existence before it could hit the floor. Now exposed was an undershirt and braces. Lister choked back a laugh, not knowing whether to be frustrated or turned on by the layers. He knew Rimmer could give the command to undress instantly at any time, but that was no fun.</p><p> </p><p>Breaking the kiss, Lister looked down to address the wardrobe issue. He pressed his forehead into the crook of Rimmer's neck, panting as he unclasped and pulled. Rimmer breathed in the heady smell of the shorter man. Cheap cigarette, leopard lager, garam masala, and the undeniable musk of unkempt space bum. It was disgusting and it was driving him wild.</p><p> </p><p>Not wanting to be left behind, Rimmer began tugging at the old T-shirt, lifting it over Lister's head, then sank his hands down the back of the tight trousers, pushing them downward as he cupped the arse he'd spent entirely too much time thinking about.</p><p> </p><p>Quickly, they weaved their way out of clothes and boots. All the while, their hard-ons ground together impatiently. </p><p> </p><p>Falling onto the lower bunk, Lister pushed Rimmer back against the mattress. His slim, pale figure was touched by a red flush. Slowly, Lister ran his hands over pecs and stomach, admiring each dip and peak individually while Rimmer shivered. </p><p> </p><p>"Please," The hologram squeaked out under his breath. His hand pushed gently on Lister's head, a not too subtle request. </p><p> </p><p>Obligingly, Lister hooked his fingers on the elastic of the ship-issue underpants and dragged them downward. With a satisfying twitch, Rimmer's enormous cock sprang out from under the cotton, ready at attention.</p><p> </p><p>Lister froze.</p><p> </p><p>"Rimmer. <em> What's this?" </em></p><p> </p><p>Rimmer opened his eyes, visibly upset that the activity had stopped. "What's <em> what </em>?? You bloody well know what that is."</p><p> </p><p>"Rimmer. This is not yer todger."</p><p> </p><p>A bright red blush filled Rimmer's cheeks as he sputtered, "Pardon??"</p><p> </p><p>Lister pointed at the rock hard giant between them. "This smegging thing must be <em> 12 inches</em>." He said with incredulity. "You've gone and changed your projection!" </p><p> </p><p>"I absolutely have not done!" Rimmer spat, "That's one hundred percent Arnold J. Rimmer right there. 'The Titan' they used to call me. Scared the other Space Scouts right out of the showers."</p><p> </p><p>"Oh, 's that so,<em> 'Big Man?'" </em></p><p> </p><p>"Yes!!"</p><p> </p><p>Lister rolled his eyes, "Come off it. Rimmer. I've been yer bunkmate for how long? I've seen ya get dressed, I've seen ya in jammers, I've seen ya in yer stupid cycling kit, I've had to ignore ya using the toilet and shower 2 meters from me, we've played strip poker plus strip everything else, and I've seen ya eaten down to yer birthday suit by potato-munching viruses. But out of everything, Smeghead, <em> out of all the things, </em> the thing you've forgotten is we swapped bodies for a week. This is not yer todger." </p><p> </p><p>A pause.</p><p> </p><p><em> "You looked??" </em> Rimmer choked out.</p><p> </p><p>"Not 'specially close. 'Sides, ya did more than look at mine, don't think I didn't notice. Sneakin' down to the jacuzzi with yer dirty mags. Couldn't look me tackle in the eye for a month."</p><p> </p><p>Rimmer looked like a startled deer, nothing coming out of his contorted mouth. </p><p> </p><p>"Ya could've picked something a little more believable, y'know. Why'd ya have ta go for smeggin' Vlad the Impaler here? What am I even supposed ta do with something this smeggin' big? Ya look like an anaconda jockey, for smeg's sake." </p><p> </p><p>"Enough!" Rimmer barked, "<em> Har-har. </em> Will you just get on with it?"</p><p> </p><p>"Nuh uh. Put it back."</p><p> </p><p>"What?"</p><p> </p><p>"Ya heard me. Put it back the way it was or I'm not touching ya."</p><p> </p><p>Rimmer rubbed his face. "This is how I die. <em> Again</em>. I'm going to die of blue balls." </p><p> </p><p>"Rimmer, this," Lister pointed, "is not the cock I want to touch. Bring back your proper package and I'll show you how much better it is." </p><p> </p><p>Rimmer hesitated side-eyeing Lister critically. "Can't we just -"</p><p> </p><p>"No. I want to see no more than 6 inches down here or I'm leavin'."</p><p> </p><p>"6 and a half!" Rimmer sat up, defensive. "The average Ionian is 6 and a third, I've got a good point one seven up on that."</p><p> </p><p>He was lying, but Lister let him have it.</p><p> </p><p>Looking around, Lister caught sight of the hardlight remote tucked neatly on the side of the bunk by a timetable. Seeing the scouser's intentions, Rimmer fumbled to grab it first, but he was trapped under Lister's chest and couldn't stretch far enough. Reaching out, Lister jabbed a finger on the voice command button.</p><p> </p><p>"Restore genitals to default."</p><p> </p><p>With a faint glow the unsightly leviathan disappeared, replaced with a perfectly reasonable erection in its place. All that arguing and he still managed to sport a stiffy. </p><p> </p><p>Rimmer groaned pitifully and pulled a pillow over his face. He couldn't see the giant, dormousey grin on Lister's face. </p><p> </p><p>"Much better." </p><p> </p><p>"It's small." The hologram muttered, muffled under the pillow. </p><p> </p><p>Lister, unable to reach lips, kissed Rimmer's chest. "It's perfect." Then he made a line of pecks down to his stomach. Rimmer shuttered a little but kept his face pressed hard into the fluff. </p><p> </p><p>"Don't patronize me." Weakly came from below.</p><p> </p><p>"Rimmer, if it was bigger, I couldn't do this."</p><p> </p><p>Rimmer felt wet lips wrap around him and he couldn't help gasping and bucking. Lister had taken him in all the way to the hilt, sucking and pressing his tongue to the underside of his shaft. Then, with meticulous care, Lister pulled up slowly, pressing skin against skin, and flicking his tongue against the head. As he did, his hands caressed down Rimmer's ribs in symmetric synchrony, then up over his stomach to his pecs to softly pet the two small nipples with his thumbs.</p><p> </p><p>Rimmer was crying out helplessly then, as Lister repeated the motions. Again and again, all the way down, completely engulfing his bunkmate in wet warmth. Feeling a mixture of embarrassment, passion, and weakness, Rimmer clutched the pillow hard with both hands and bit into the cloth around moans. </p><p> </p><p>Lister adjusted his position, moving to cup and tug Rimmer's balls while he gripped the cock's base - the way he always did for himself when he tossed one off. Before he could do much though, a strangled cry escaped Rimmer's lips and an unexpected jet of come hit the back of Lister's throat.</p><p> </p><p>Coughing and gagging at the surprise, Lister pulled away as Rimmer finished. The splashes of hardlight come hung around on stomach and lips for a moment before disappearing into thin air. </p><p> </p><p>"That's a... neat trick," Lister said, catching his breath. In his mind he was a bit disappointed how fast it was, but was too gentlemanly to mention it. "Maybe give us a bit of warning next time, eh?" </p><p> </p><p>"Sorry." Came the weak reply. The pillow was still over Rimmer's face.</p><p> </p><p>Lister, still with his head between Rimmer's legs, thought this weird pillow-biter act looked delicious. On a whim, he lifted Rimmer's hips and pressed his tongue to the hologram's tight hole. He savoured the noise this solicited, long and low. Guttural. With swirling motions and gentle pressure, he teased at the entrance.</p><p> </p><p>"That's not - unngg..." Rimmer began to protest, struggling to form a sentence. "You shouldn't... I didn't know you could... <em> ahhhhhh, Listy-!" </em></p><p> </p><p>The very tip of his tongue probed as Lister licked. To his surprise, Rimmer's hard-on was coming back, slowly rising from the dead. Beyond pleased, he gave it a long lick, bottom to tip, catching the salty drip of precum at the end. </p><p> </p><p>"Is this some hologram thing too?"</p><p> </p><p>"No." Rimmer said feebly from under his pillow. "I just do that."</p><p> </p><p>Lister grinned to himself and crawled up the bed. He pulled the pillow off of Rimmer's face and planted a kiss on the surprised look he found underneath. </p><p> </p><p>"See, ya smegger? I knew the real deal would be better."</p><p> </p><p>As he spoke, Lister's fingers wandered around to Rimmer's backside, pushing on the slick hole.</p><p> </p><p><em> "Please don't bugger me." </em> Rimmer squeaked. </p><p> </p><p>Lister pulled his finger away. "Can't ya just program a looser arsehole?"</p><p> </p><p>The face Rimmer pulled made Lister<em> almost </em>regret teasing him.</p><p> </p><p>"Alright alright, just kidding." He kissed his bunkmate again. "Who said anything about that? Just making ya feel good. Speaking of which..."</p><p> </p><p>He sat back up so that Rimmer could get a good view. Lister's boxers were still on and a massive hard-on strained the fabric. Rimmer tentatively reached a hand out and caressed its length. The size of it reminded him of his own perceived inadequacies, but there was something incredible about it as well. Sliding the underpants down, he held its weight in his hand, admiring it.</p><p> </p><p>Rimmer's cock tapped impatiently against Lister's arse as he began to stroke him off. He may have never slept with a man before, but he knew how he liked to touch himself, so that's what he did. Grabbing his secret stash of lube from down the side of the bunk, he slicked up the hard-on and pumped.</p><p> </p><p>Lister's eyes shut and his breath caught in his throat. "Smeg... Rimmer..." His hands were on the ceiling of the bunk, steadying himself. </p><p> </p><p>Encouraged, Rimmer picked up the pace, his other hand wandering around, catching a handful of Lister's backside. To his surprise, he found his hand grabbed and directed lower.</p><p> </p><p>"Touch me." The scouser breathed.</p><p> </p><p>"I am!" Rimmer blurted, confused.</p><p> </p><p>Lister's eyes snapped open and he made a distinct you-have-got-to-be-kidding-me face."<em> Finger me, </em> ya goit. Finger bang me."</p><p> </p><p>"Ah. Right."</p><p> </p><p>Dutifully, Rimmer applied a gob of lube to his fingers and hesitantly began feeling around Lister's entrance. Right back in the mood, Lister pushed back against him. </p><p> </p><p>"Just one to start," he directed, circling his hips. "Then more." Unlike his awkward bunkmate, Lister had some experience playing down there, albeit alone or with women. </p><p> </p><p>To his credit, Rimmer caught on fairly well, stroking in rhythm with one hand while the other moved his finger in and out. As Lister began to moan, a second experimental finger went in, then a third. Lister was now thrusting desperately between the two hands, panting and whimpering. </p><p> </p><p>"Fuck me!" He gasped, "I want ya now."</p><p> </p><p>Off guard, but game, Rimmer pulled his fingers out and frantically applied as much lube as he could to his bobbing erection while Lister slipped off his boxers. Impatiently, Lister batted away Rimmer's hand and guided himself onto the tip. </p><p> </p><p>Biting his lip, Lister let it slide slowly in. He moved up and down, each time taking a little more in until he had satisfyingly sheathed the entire length.</p><p> </p><p>Falling forward onto his elbows, he took Rimmer's lips in his own, pressing, licking. Rolling his hips, he whispered in Rimmer's ear, "This, by the way, is another thing a big cock can't do for me properly."</p><p> </p><p>They were a flurry of thrusts, kisses, and bites. Each slammed into the other's body with the intensity of their combined years of loneliness. They tangled together, pressing into neck and chest, each silently worshipping the other between growls of pleasure.</p><p> </p><p>It wasn't long before Rimmer was whimpering with another orgasm, clutching to Lister for dear life. Each wave of the ethereal cum filled the space between them before blinking out of existence, leaving a strange sensation behind. </p><p> </p><p>As Rimmer lay panting to get his breath back, Lister flopped to the side. He placed Rimmer's hand on his painfully throbbing cock.</p><p> </p><p>"Help me cum?" He asked, kissing a line along Rimmer's jaw.</p><p> </p><p>Rimmer began to stroke, drawing Lister into another hungry kiss. "God, Listy..." he let out between breaths. To his surprise, Lister felt another erection bump against his own. Glancing downward, Lister caught a glimpse of Rimmer stroking them both together with one hand. Against all known laws of the universe, the bastard was hard again.</p><p> </p><p>"Roll over." Rimmer demanded suddenly. Lister hesitated. "...Please?" The hologram amended. With a lick of his lips, Lister did as he was asked. Rimmer positioned himself behind, hastily reentering without much warning but finding the hole blissfully still ready and willing. Lister shuttered at being mounted so roughly, not expecting it to be such a turn on.</p><p> </p><p>This time, Rimmer continued to stroke Lister's cock in time with his hips as he ravaged him. Each thrust sent shockwaves of pleasure up Lister's spine. That one sweet spot inside him sang as he felt himself tipping over the edge.</p><p> </p><p>With a scream, Lister let himself go.</p><p> </p><p>His arms and legs struggled to not buckle as he spilt over Rimmer's bedsheets. Unlike hardlight, it lingered, glistening as the last drops escaped him. Rimmer's hand guided the orgasm to its end, and Lister realised from the keening noises on the back of his neck that the hologram was coming as well.</p><p> </p><p>Ravished and spent, they toppled together to the mattress. Heat burned around their bare skin and they both heaved heavy breaths.</p><p> </p><p>Slowly their breathing returned to normal and they could feel the chill of the quiet, dim room surround them. Rimmer, still positioned behind Lister, drew up the blanket around their shoulders.</p><p> </p><p>"Rimmer," Lister broke the silence. "How long did ya go around sporting that... thing?"</p><p> </p><p>Rimmer grumbled, not answering.</p><p> </p><p>"Eh?" Lister turned to peek at him.</p><p> </p><p>"Just today," Rimmer grumbled audibly this time.</p><p> </p><p>"Just today..." Lister trailed off thinking. He then began to shake with giggles. "Ohhhh. I get it."</p><p> </p><p>"Get what? There's nothing to get." Rimmer said, perturbed.</p><p> </p><p>"That's why ya kissed me."</p><p> </p><p>"I don't see the connection."</p><p> </p><p>Lister shuffled around to face his annoyed bunkmate, still laughing. "You were too embarrassed before, ya gimboid. You knew I was big and ya wanted me to think yer package was enormous. So ya souped-up yer meat and two veg like a middle-aged man buying a convertible and went on the pull."</p><p> </p><p>Rimmer was bright red and furious. "Absolutely coincidental, a ridiculous theory."</p><p> </p><p>Lister sighed. "Yer moral garbage on legs, you know that? That's what I always fall for. Heart breakers and moral garbage on legs."</p><p> </p><p>Before Rimmer could defend himself, Lister kissed him. This time without urgency. Short and soft.</p><p> </p><p>"I like yer wedding tackle the way it is. Don't go mucking it up."</p><p> </p><p>"Fine." Rimmer growled. His simulated heart silently skipped a beat.</p><p> </p>
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